Fear of Failure is one of the most gripping anxieties reported by people throughout all demographics. It can contribute to a constant INNER-CRITIC. It can lead to perfectionism and the need to have everything look or be PERFECT. It can STOP people before they even start.
WHY the fear of failure…? Some (especially behaviorists) would say we are CONDITIONED to fear failure!
We are graded throughout school, ranging from “Passing/Failing” to “A through F”. Not only “Passing” but getting “A’s” or “B’s” are highly emphasized. And with standardized testing across the US, we can earn “A’s” in our class work and class examinations and still “Fail” the standardized test which may then trigger “additional support” to pass and sometimes threats that we won’t graduate.
As adults in the US, almost the first question we are asked when meeting people for the first time is “What do you do?” Our achievements are how we are measured, and the VALUE of the measurements change continually.
As children, we fear failing our classes, failing to please our parents, failing to fit in, failing our team.
As adults we fear failing to meet adult milestones “on time”, failing to compete economically, failing our kids, failing our partnerships.
And that constant fear of failure has lasting effects on our minds, our bodies, and our spirits (emotions). It is often a source of anxiety and depression episodes.
It’s ironic that we continue to promote FAILURE AVOIDANCE when FAILING is a part of LEARNING! And learning which EMBRACES FAILURE as a part of the process PROMOTES CONFIDENCE, RETAINED KNOWLEDGE, GENERALIZABLE EXPERIENCE, AND CRITICAL PROBLEM SOLVING.
One of the techniques I propose with my clients to combat fear of failure and the fallout that it causes is THE PRO-FAILURE APPROACH TO TASK COMPLETION.
This approach is based on the concept of SCAFFOLDING or STAGING, which is a type of “learner led” instruction in which the “learner” is invited to try what the “expert” is doing. The “expert” gives the “learner” stages of the task to practice. When the “learner” shows they are confident in that stage, they are given more stages of the task, until they are able to do the task all by themselves. Now the “learner” becomes the “expert”.
Though “Scaffolding” was given a name and description in the 1950s by Jerome Bruner, it is an ancient practice in families and communities of various cultures in which the children learn at the side of the elders to do all of the things that are needed in their home and community.
Scaffolding embraces PRACTICE and FAILURE as the learning process.
HOW TO PRACTICE THE PRO-FAILURE APPROACH TO TASK COMPLETION
The PRO-FAILURE APPROACH TO TASK COMPLETION as a technique is a MIND-SET, an AFFRIMATION, a PHILOSOPHY that you would repeat to yourself, read when in doubt, carry in your notebook or screenshot on your phone to look at when needed. IT IS THE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE THAT FAILING IS PART OF GROWING AND THEREFORE FAILURE IS GOOD AND NOT TO BE AVOIDED.
AS A DAILY PRACTICE:
The Pro-Failure Approach to Task Completion can be used as a daily affirmation or mindfulness practice to set you thoughts on embracing experiential growth and learning and all of that come with it.
- When you set out for your day, think about what’s before you.
- Remind yourself that no matter what you have on your task list, you are either a “learner” or an “expert”.
You either have done this task so many times that you can be confident in your ability to complete it or to trouble shoot it if something goes awry and are therefore the “expert”.
OR you are practicing the task and are still learning how to do it and are therefore a “learner”. - You may read the worksheet for The Pro-Failure Approach to Task Completion as part of meditation or affirmation.
- If there are things you have coming up, like a test, or starting a new job, or a social engagement, or a decision that you have to make and you feel yourself getting worried about, you can read the worksheet and remind yourself that you can be the “learner” in that situation and you can practice the stages of the task until you are confident. (In decision making this can look like considering the options, consulting with people whom you consider to be “expert” in that task, choosing the option that you feel is best in the situation, and being open to reconsideration if you are given new information.)
AS A GROUNDING TECHNIQUE IN A CRISIS:
If you find yourself panicking or overwhelmed because you fear you have made a mistake or you know for certain you have made a mistake or failed in some way, The Pro-Failure Approach to Task Completion is helpful in grounding you to EMBRACE (or ACCEPT) the failure and prepare to PRACTICE the task again.
- Read the worksheet COMPLETELY from top to bottom and all the little boxes.
- BREATHE DEEPLY as you read each of the affirmation boxes again.
- Remind yourself that you can take what you have learned from this failure and gain additional insight, experience, and understanding from it.
- Once you feel clearer and calmer, you can look ahead and make a plan for what you have learned from this failure.
Please check out the downloadable PDF in my store AT A SMALL COST to support the copyright. Feel free to download it and use it. Please consider leaving feedback or a comment! I’d love to know how this works for you!
FOR THERAPISTS, EDUCATORS, COACHES, OR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO USE THIS WORKSHEET IN THEIR WORKPLACE: You can download the PDF from my store and you are welcome to use it in your practice/office with clients or students. I hope you find it useful. It is copyrighted material, so please do not repurposed or resell it. Please consider leaving feedback! I would love to know how The Pro-Failure Approach to Task Completion works for your students or clients!
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Here are some resources related to Scaffolding that I reviewed for this Blog and that you can check out. These are only a few, there are MANY, many more and they are worth the read!
Scaffolding in teacher–student interaction: A decade of research
The impact of scaffolding and student achievement levels in a problem-based learning environment
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